Diary of a Middle Aged Tekken Scrub

           I just sat here in my living room, with a bowl of cereal, looking out the window in a morning. I watched a car, drive up onto my lawn to turn around and go back the way he came. I guess he needed to make a U-turn, but he didn't drive onto my drive way, or any one else's drive way, he drove up onto my lawn to turn around.... cool....

       Marriage isn’t “I promise to love you until I stop loving you.” It’s “I promise to make a conscious decision to continue to love you even when it’s hard because I’m aware no one is perfect, but you are worth it.”          This is about my hats, somehow. trust me, it makes sense, collecting hats is worth it. Right???

         Looking through my kitchen at my spices and condiments, I decided to throw out stuff I hadn't bought since before 2020. The pandemic wasn't exactly that long ago, but you can tell stuff isn't fresh because its a brand you weren't able to buy anymore. Or you managed to find a new condiment brand and like it more now because the old one you used to buy became scarce, or expensive. That said, I have no idea what I will be using these everything bagel seasonings for.

           In this weird, backwards progression of my taste buds. I've started really liking the flavors of pepperoni, ranch dressing and ketchup a lot more these days. I used to really dislike those flavors, and would would actually be disappointed if I had foods that included those as ingredients. I used to eat fries plain, dipped into nothing, just salted, used to think ketchup was too strong and just made me not taste the french fry, and now, I scoop more than dip and eat more ketchup than french fry per bite. I used to think putting ranch dressing on pizza, was a waste of good pizza, all it tasted like was ranch dressing on pizza, and it didn't really add. but damn if i get a pizza now that's mostly meat and no veggies, I'm smothering it in ranch. hmmmm maybe I'm having a deficiency in some nutrient and my body is craving these childish flavors....

     Do you Gief mains claim this man as one of yall?

 But she also cooks 2 weeks worth of food in a day and freezes it, and that's kinda cute...

 The one friend who likes to eat a lot, and the one friend who lays down a lot, are the best company to have. You know that one friend, that best friend you have, where when you see her name pop up on your phone you wanna throw your phone, you hear her voice and you wanna stab your eyes out, you hate the way she laughs, you hate the way she eats, you hate the way she puts on mascara, everything about her drives you crazy. She's good company to keep too.